So, I’m sitting on a barstool at McMennamin’s drinking a pint-a-porter and squinting at a soccer game on the teevee. It’s The World Cup. The Uruaguays are kicking the crap out of the Estonias, or something like that.

I can’t really tell. I lost my eyeglasses on a trip to Pittsburgh and the teevee is buzzing like it’s full of angry hornets.

I hate that noise,” says guy on the next stool.

“What noise?” says I.

“The noise on the teevee,” he...